What Should I Do if My Husband Loves Me, But Not Sexually?

What Should I Do if My Husband Loves Me, But Not Sexually?
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Are you starting to ask yourself lately, “why my husband loves me but not sexually?” Maybe your partner is not affectionate anymore, or some of his behaviors show a lost attraction for you.

Because you do not have sex anymore, you may feel unwanted in the relationship.

There are several factors why your husband is not showing sexual desire. Some people withhold sex, some have sexual issues, and some just lose attraction to their partners.

Regardless, you should know that sexual intimacy is vital in a marriage. Thus, you should discuss any issues involving your sex life with your partner.

Why is Sexual Desire Important?

We know that attraction and good sex are essential in a partnership. However, there is a third category that is a little more ambiguous, and it is known as desire.

Desires are natural needs that are needed in a relationship. It does not equate to sex but is more about connection and intimacy.

A lack of sexual desire in a relationship can cause frustration and disappointment.

Significance of Sex Life in Marriage

Communication and sex are both essential components of romantic relationships. Neglecting either can lead to a significant conflict.

If two people want to have sex once a year and are both okay with it, that’s fine. But generally, couples should try to meet each other’s needs.

A theory called hedonic adaptation is typically the cause of lost sexual desire. Based on this theory, as a person’s income increases, so do their expectations and desires.

The same thing happens in a relationship. The longer you are intimate with someone, the less you want it.

The next thing you know, a married couple hasn’t engaged in sexual activity for an entire year—not out of resentment or anger, but indifference. When there is no desire, that is what takes place.

Why Is He Not Interested in Sex?

Even though getting married usually means you want more from your man than just sex, he might not share this opinion. Some reasons why he has been avoiding sex are:

  • Low sex drive could be caused by poor mental health or a drop in testosterone levels caused by environmental factors.
  • He is holding back sex as a test if he feels objectified or like you only want sex.
  • He is punishing you by denying them sex.

The last two actions are not appropriate or mature. Regardless of the reason, you must address these issues.

How to Rekindle Your Sex Life

Long-term relationships and married life have tradeoffs. Sometimes, when the partnership is too long, couples become too complacent and lack the same passion as you were starting to hit off.

Losing physical intimacy in a marriage can lead to emotional distance. If you feel like you and your husband aren’t as physically intimate as before, here are some tips you can follow.

Have open communication with your partner.

In any relationship, especially a marriage, communication is sacred. Inform your partner of what you need and what you desire.

When you express your wants and needs to your partner, they will understand you better and feel more connected. Effective communication helps to avoid misunderstandings and arguments between couples.

Meet halfway and compromise.

If your husband avoids sex, while you, on the other hand, seek physical affection, you must talk and find ways to work things out.

Having sex three times a day is unnecessary to keep your relationship going. But you should remember that it takes two to tango in any relationship.

People thinking about getting married should understand that you won’t get every quality you want in a partner. You might be compatible in some ways, but you may have different views about sex.

Longing for sex and physical contact more than your partner is normal. But, losing interest in sex also happens in partners. What matters is you have to be on the same page.

All the communication and love on the planet won’t change if you can’t reach an agreeable compromise.

Understand the distinction between a lack of sex drive and an aversion to sex.

Sometimes, your husband might be tired from a day’s work. He might be looking into getting a good night’s sleep to end his day, which leads to him not wanting sex.

When a situation like this happens, it doesn’t mean he does not find you beautiful or desirable. He is just simply tired.

Try to schedule your sexual encounters and make sure you are prepared.

Try new things.

If you have trouble getting aroused or maintaining interest during sex, it may be time to spice things up.

Being open to experiencing something new with your partner can sometimes make all the difference. Spend some quality time together and initiate sex at the right time.

Keep your husband attracted to you.

As mentioned, attraction is an essential thing in a romantic partner. Make yourself appealing to your significant other to keep the fire burning.

Make an extra effort not only to be physically attractive but also to spice things up in bed. Experiment and discover things with your partner.

Reigniting Your Sex Life

Life may not be as impulsive as it was when you first started dating. But the secret is to keep planning for a vacation and date night.

It’s making sure you have sex one night per week. Instead of assuming it will happen, you can increase your chances of making connections by making more plans to have fun.


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Anna Daniels

Anna is an avid blogger with an educational background in medicine and mental health. She is a generalist with many other interests including nutrition, women's health, astronomy and photography. In her free time from work and writing, Anna enjoys nature walks, reading, and listening to jazz and classical music.

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