If your career, family, and social life have taken over and there always seems to be one or more things that you have to work on, maintaining your sex life might seem like your last priority. After all, everything else needs to be done and at the end of the day, you’re far too tired to get intimate with your partner. But, neglecting your sex life can not only make you miserable, it can also have a negative impact on the relationship that you have with your partner and lead to you drifting apart.
Of course, some couples can do just fine without sex – and it all comes down to just how important sex is to you and your partner. But for the most part, couples say that having a healthy sex life always makes them feel closer and more connected to one another. If you want to start improving your sex life but you’re always too busy or too tired for sex, we’ve got some tips to help you out.
Consider Testosterone Supplements
If you’re starting to worry about your performance in the bedroom and it’s getting in the way of your sex life, the first thing to know is that this is perfectly normal, and it doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with you or that you’re less attracted to your partner. Men’s testosterone levels naturally decline as they age and this can get in the way of having the sex life that you would like.
If your libido has taken a hit recently, this could be down to a number of issues, including simply having too much on. After all, our brains as humans have not actually evolved much since the caveman days, and back then, libido would be the first to shut down when you’re under pressure and stress since reproduction would have been the last thing that cavemen and women needed.
Along with slowing down a little and making more time for yourself and your partner, you may want to try a testosterone gel to help balance your hormones and get your sex drive back. You can learn more about testosterone gel and the pros and cons at TestoGen, who provide a range of supplements to encourage the natural, healthy production of testosterone in your body.
Studies show that couples who spend time talking about sex tend to have more, better sex. And after all, you’re not going to get what you don’t ask for. Communicating with your partner can help both of you come to an agreement on how much sex is good for both of you, what you both enjoy, what you’d like to try out and how much time you can realistically set aside to get intimate with one another. Clear communication with your partner about sex allows the pair of you to more effectively state your needs, avoid making harmful assumptions, and let each other know when you are or aren’t in the mood. And, communicating like this can often spill over into the other aspects of your relationship, helping you improve your overall life together as a couple.
Start Outside of the Bedroom
Foreplay doesn’t have to begin once you’re in bed and the lights are off. In fact, the couples who have the best sex tend to be quite touchy-feely with each other throughout the day. Simple things like kissing, cuddling, and holding hands when you’re together can make it easier for both of you to get in the mood when you do get the chance to be intimate. And it doesn’t have to be physical, either – you can create sexual tension throughout the day by sending suggestive texts or talking about what you want to do to each other while you’re both at work; having this little secret between the two of you can really put you in the mood and make it difficult for you to get your hands off each other once you both get home.
Resolve Emotional Issues
Are you and your partner often caught up fighting about the same little thing? It’s a problem that plagues many relationships, and you might often catch yourself wondering why small, insignificant things have become so important. But the truth is that this is usually a sign of a deeper, underlying issue. For example, couples who frequently fight about the housework might actually be dealing with deeper feelings of being underappreciated or taken for granted by their partner. And, none of this is conducive to healthy and intimate sex life.
You may find it helpful to attend couples therapy where you can both have a safe, supportive space to talk about your deeper needs and get to the root of the issue. If you have problems communicating or are dealing with insecure attachment styles, speaking to a professional can do wonders for your relationship, help you get a deeper understanding of one another, and learn how you can meet each other’s needs – both inside and outside of the bedroom – more effectively.
Try Something New
When you are in a long-term, committed relationship, it can be all too easy to get stuck in a rut of doing the same things each time you have sex. If sex between the two of you is getting very predictable these days, that’s a sure sign that it’s time to get creative and try something new. Everybody gets turned on by different things and different times depending on the mood that we’re in, and trying something new in the bedroom can be a fun way to spice things up and learn something new about each other and even yourself.
There should be no pressure, either – trying something new doesn’t always have to mean that you really enjoy it, but if you don’t try then you will never know. Try to break those predictable patterns and introduce some new and exciting things to your sex life whether it’s new sex toys, different sex positions, having sex in a different location, dirty talk, or even watching porn together.
Regular exercise has a great effect on all aspects of your health and can contribute to healthier sex life, too. When you’re fit and healthy, you’re going to have more stamina in the bedroom and will probably feel much more energized to go for longer. When you exercise, the circulation improves all over your body, including the blood flow to your genitals, which can improve your libido and make it easier for you to get in the mood. If both you and your partner have been lacking in exercise recently, this is a great time to consider trying a new physical activity together, which can be a turn-on itself! Whether you enjoy going for long walks and hikes together where you can talk and get more emotionally intimate, or enjoy lifting weights in the gym together, it can be a great activity for you both to do as a couple.
Learn Your Love Languages
The phrase ‘do to others as you’d have done to yourself’ is a nice sentiment, but it can get a little confusing in relationships. This is because everybody has their own love language, and what you would like your partner to do for you may not necessarily be what they would like you to do for them. There are five different love languages, which are words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, receiving gifts, and quality time.
Now, you may be able to see how this could get a little confusing. Let’s say your main love language is receiving gifts, while your partner prefers physical touch. You might be going out of your way to buy them all the best things when really, all they want is a kiss and a cuddle when you return from work. That’s not to say that they don’t appreciate the gifts, because they probably do, but you’re still missing the mark. The good news is that there are several free quizzes out there that you can take together with your partner to figure out both of your love languages and learn more about them. When you know each other’s love languages, it becomes easier to meet each other’s needs, avoid resentment and miscommunication, and you guessed it – become more intimate in the bedroom.
Don’t Restrict Yourself to Night-Time
If you are in a heterosexual relationship, then you will probably have noticed that men and women can be quite different when it comes to the prime time for their libido. Generally speaking, men have a higher sex drive in the morning, while for women, evening time is when they are more likely to get turned on. Instead of sticking to a routine where you only have sex at night, try changing it up a little and enjoying intimate time together at other times of the day. Waking up a little earlier than usual for sex in the morning before work can be a great way to get both of your days off to an amazing start.
If the intimacy and sex are dwindling in your relationship, it can have a profound effect on all other areas of your health and wellbeing. Thankfully, improving things doesn’t have to be difficult.