For many of us, having children is simply part of ‘The Plan’…
…until you’re faced with an infertility diagnosis.
Infertility can put a screeching, brake-grinding halt to your family plans and turn your world upside down.
Fortunately, there are now multiple options available to overcome your infertility, from receiving hormonal treatments to donor egg or adoption.
When exploring new avenues in your fertility journey, it’s natural to have hundreds of questions, numerous fears, and more than your fair share of sleepless nights.
To help you decide if donor eggs are right for you, we’ve addressed the top three common donor egg fears and questions below.
Where Can You Find an Egg Donor?
As you begin exploring the avenue of egg donation, one of the most challenging aspects is finding your ‘perfect’ egg donor. Should you opt for someone you already know, e.g. a family friend or relative? Or should you consider using a donor egg bank that can provide you access to hundreds of potential donors from around the world?
This is one of the first decisions you’ll make — and perhaps the most important. Take your time, do your research, and talk through your options with your partner or trusted support system.
Weighing the Pros and Cons of Known vs Unknown Donors
Choosing a donor you know may sound comforting at first, but what happens when you think about this relationship in the future? Is there potential for complicated dynamics within your relationship? Will their donation raise uncomfortable questions with other family members, your child, or from the donor themselves if they want a relationship with your child?
It’s important to consider how the relationship with your donor may change when your child arrives, and what kind of expectations everyone has going into the agreement.
Alternatively, a donor egg bank may initially seem a little too clinical. How can you feel comfortable accepting eggs from someone you haven’t met?
Yet, as you begin to explore your egg bank’s database of potential candidates, you’ll soon realize this option can provide the best of both worlds. Using an egg bank, you can find donors that want to remain anonymous (Non-Disclosure) and other donors who want to be known at some point in the future (ID Disclosure). Typically, known donors can be discovered by the donor conceived child at the time the child reaches the age of majority. No matter the donor’s decision at the time of her donation, you’re given a plethora of information about her to review, including physical attributes, personality traits, career and lifestyle choices, adult and childhood pictures, and more.
How Soon Can You Welcome a Family with Egg Donation?
After what feels like an eternity of trying to conceive, you’re no doubt ready to welcome your baby into the world as soon as possible.
Thankfully, there are two types of egg donation available – fresh or frozen – and choosing frozen could see you welcoming your little one into the world within less than a year.
Fresh vs Frozen Egg Donation
While fresh egg donation takes longer because your cycles must be synchronized, frozen donor egg cycles take care of this part of the process before you select your donor. In fact, your treatment can start based on your schedule – not your donor’s cycle – because your donor’s eggs are already safely stored for future use thanks to cryogenic vitrification.
Will Using Donor Eggs Provide the Same Mother-Child Bond?
It’s normal to worry that you’re somehow losing part of the connection you’ll have with your baby by using another woman’s eggs.
However, it’s important to remember that your donor is only providing a single genetic puzzle piece – an oocyte – that’s combined with another single genetic puzzle piece (a sperm) to create a fertilized embryo. Once embryo implantation takes place, you’re building the ‘rest of the puzzle’ yourself from scratch!
It’s you who nurtures your baby in your womb, and you who brings them into the world.
Loving and caring for your child helps create those wonderful mother-baby bonds — not genetics. From the moment you receive the happy news at your two-week scan, you’ll feel any concerns or worries melt away as you focus on your pregnancy and beyond.
A Different Path to the Same Destination
None of us expect to receive something as earth-shattering as an infertility diagnosis. However, thanks to today’s modern medicine, we have options to become the parents we always dreamed of.
Yes, the path toward this important part of your life plan may take a different course – and the road there may be longer than you’d hoped – but once you step into parenthood, the journey you’ve faced to get there will always be worth it.